The Girl at the Rock Show: Girls, Misogyny and "Show Culture" by Julie Tippey

The Girl at the Rock Show: Girls, Misogyny and "Show Culture"
By Julie Tippey

When a girl goes to see a show, a concert isn’t all that she gets. As both a female and a frequent attender of local and regional shows, I’ve observed and even been the brunt of some overt and even dangerous misogyny. Unfortunately in a group of people that claim to be not only progressive and inclusive, there are still problems that need addressing and solving in “show culture”.

    Let me rewind for a moment and briefly explain what I mean by “show culture ”. I use “shows” to refer to small concerts, usually featuring local and regional bands. These events occur at houses, bars, coffee shops and even record stores, and therefore allow these locales to become meeting places for band members, their friends and all individuals who are interested in creating a community of musicians and artists. As in most cases, a community of artists tends to be more liberal than conservative and frequently those involved in these communities are more receptive to feminism, or claim to be.

    As a whole, these musical communities are more accepting and open minded than mainstream America; However, the local show crowd is not without its’ misogynist issues, many of which are even perpetuated by the females in the community. As a female, it is still expected that my presence at a show, is merely a result of my romantic or sexual interest in the males at that show. The idea that I might be just as interested in enjoying a show as a male is so regularly discounted that I’ve even been straightforwardly asked which member of the band I was there to sleep with.

    The misogyny and distrust are sometimes even started and perpetuated by the females at a show. So often do I see or feel the glare of another girl, the callous eyes as they assess my outfit, where I got it, how much I paid for it and whether I am any competition in the heteronormative sexual hunger games that these events are perceived to be. But why? I’ve met some of my best friends at shows and had some of the best conversations about fashion, music and culture with complete strangers I’ve met there, yet there is still the cultural need for women to fight with each other, and that is no different in show culture. Of course there is no ultimate solution to this problem, but the start comes from small gestures: smiles, compliments, and the acceptance, that we’re all just there to enjoy the show. 

Unfortunately, these comments and slights are just the beginning. The hate that females perpetuate against each other is toxic, but not outwardly dangerous, but the testosterone fueled male on female hate that creeps into events can be incredibly dangerous. As a general rule when humans are put into situations where they become anonymous or unaccountable, they become more brazen, and a pit is no exception. Typically, the larger and less acquainted those in a pit are, the more likely it is that you will be groped, felt up, or even have someone try to take your shirt off, and yes that really happened. 

By and large the people that come to shows are wonderful, kind people who will let their friends borrow their prized guitar when a string breaks during a set or let complete strangers who have traveled across the country in a band sleep on their couch. Yet, as a microcosm of the larger American culture, show culture still has a lot to work on, to truly be a place of equality: Internalized misogyny needs to be unlearned, violence needs to be called out, and equality and intersectionality need to be preached as much as the latest alternative Australian beach-punk EP. As a lover and a rocker, I think the most important thing we as lovers and rockers can do, is to do better, for ourselves, for the girls and for the future of this community.